These past few weeks due to certain situations, I've really started to think about who my friends really are, and if I'm surrounding myself with the right kinds of people. Therefore I thought... why not make a blog post about it? Maybe some of these tips can help you too :)
I've been stuck in this never ending spiral of negativity with some people close to me and I don't know how to get out of it. I don't even completely know why it exists. I feel like I'm being judged every time we have a conversation. Well, I know I am. I know that no matter what I say to them, it will be taken out of context. So I'm trying to be quiet. I'm tired of being the center of all the jokes, and then whenever I'm not in the group, they gossip about me. I got to thinking about... why I spend my time with these people? Are they worth it? Do they appreciate me? Maybe they care somewhat, but based on the majority of their actions... I believe it's best to no longer surround myself with them.
Some ways to decide whether or not they really are treating you as a friend:
1. Do they listen to you?
Real friends should be sharing problems and getting feedback. If your friend always talks about their own problems, and is bored whenever you mention your own... they really aren't acting like a friend.
Also... do they remember what you tell them? Do they really seem to care?
2. Do they communicate with you?
Does your friend share what's going on in their life? Do they try to talk to you at least every week or so?
You should be able to freely open up to someone, if you consider them a close friend. Are you afraid to share your views or thoughts on controversial things, because you think they'll have a different opinion? That's something you need to ask yourself. Even if they disagree, they shouldn't shut you off because of it.
3. Do they gossip a lot?
This is a huge one. If your friend gossips a lot around you, then most likely they gossip about you too. If they are constantly running down other people, then chances are... they do the exact same to you, as soon as your back is turned.
4. Do they make time with you/support you?
Friendship is all about spending time with one another. A true friend will make time for you, even if they have a busy schedule. If they're always saying that they are busy, or cancel on going to the mall, or the movies, or just to hang out... they probably don't care about seeing you or spending time with you. If your friend has plenty of time to play video games or hang out with his/her significant other, or their other friends, but never with you... then you're a last priority in their book. I would consider asking yourself how much they really value the friendship.
5. Do they make you happy?
I haven't seen this one in any sort of list... but I felt I had to include it. You should never waste your life surrounding yourself with things that upset you. If you are constantly fighting with your friends, or they continue to bully you or bring you down... Don't waste your time with that!!! DON'T!! There are so many better people in the world that you have yet to meet. You can always make new friends, and better ones at that.
That's my bit of advice. I'm still trying to put on a smile.
Sometimes it's best to just move on and... I'm looking forward to the new school year ahead of me! :)
I appreciate the small amount of followers that I do have on Blogger and I hope this post has helped you in some way.
xx,
Margaret
